I called in sick from work today. I didn’t want to. I just put in for a really big career move and don’t want things to look bad- but I am not well today. I woke up from my third work related nightmare this week after receiving bad news last night. My mother just made it very clear that she doesn’t support my engagement to a woman (I’m pretty sure that she’s spent the last seven years hoping that this lesbian phase will end soon). I’m anxious and the very idea of having to talk to anyone I don’t love is horrifying to me right now. I’m exhausted and my mind is spinning in circles- I apologize because of that, this probably isn’t the best time to write a blog update, but that’s where we are.
If I had the flu, I wouldn’t feel bad about calling in to work- they would be better off calling someone in who could give the shift 100% effort. If I had a stomach virus, I’d call out because operating at 50% in between mad dashes to the bathroom isn’t remotely efficient. And I wouldn’t feel bad about that. Yet I feel horribly guilty for calling in sick due to poor mental health. Even though I know I wouldn’t be able to give my best work and would probably have to hide in the bathroom and cry at least once.
I debated posting a Facebook status saying I was physically ill, as if being mentally and emotionally unwell today isn’t worth taking a day off to care for myself.
I’m going to go pull the mental health equivalent of a nap and chicken soup, and hope you all are doing well. Later this week I have a few blogs planned- I want to talk about the film Hidden Figures which was amazing and I encourage everyone to go see.