Long Time No Write?

Okay, so it’s been a little longer than I meant for it to be since my last update. I’ve been a little bit out of it lately- awful head cold for the last almost week and I’ve been a little stressed over weddings related things. ┬áBut things haven’t been awful!

  • I submitted a short story to that writing contest I submitted to. If I don’t move forward in the contest, I’ll probably post it here, if you’d be interested in reading it? Sound fun? Cool.
  • I saw Hidden Figures twice and it’s a fantastic movie and I’m going to continue to urge people to go see it.
  • I ordered my wedding dress! I would post a picture here, but there’s no way to make sure that my fiancee doesn’t see it, so picture me in a really awesome fluffy white dress with a bit of sparkle.
  • It looks like we have our wedding venue and our official date!
  • I sent a work related email that’s been stressing me out!
  • I interviewed for a new job (haven’t heard anything back, but at least I was brave enough to interview).

So trying to hang on to positivity and see if I can clear my head a bit.

Take care!


Wedding Planning While Gay

So, I’m pretty freaked out about all of this ‘defense of religion’ First Amendment talk- you know, the legal rulings that could make it legal for my landlord to decide that he doesn’t want lesbians renting one of his apartments, or my doctor not want to practice medicine on a lesbian woman, my baker decide that they don’t want to make a wedding cake for a lesbian wedding- that last bit sound familiar?

I keep hearing people say ‘oh, but would you really want that homophobic doctor to practice medicine on you? or to live where you’re not wanted?’ but my money spends the same regardless and if I’m not asking a vendor to do something outside of the services they provide, why should it matter?

I’m planning my wedding right now and every time I email a vendor, I check their website to see if I can find any same sex weddings featured in their photo gallery- if not and I’m feeling lucky, I email them anyway and make it abundantly clear that I’m a lesbian marrying another woman so they can immediately turn me down if they don’t ‘go for that sort of thing’. I haven’t gotten any nasty responses but I do wonder if the reason that a handful of venues haven’t emailed me back is because they don’t want to bother with a lesbian wedding.

It’s awkward looking at wedding venues and they boast a suite for the bride and bridesmaids to get ready in- but what are you supposed to do when there are two brides? Floral packages assume there will be one bridal bouquet and one groom’s boutonniere- would they be willing to change their package for us? Favors depicted a generic bride and groom. When I went to go try dresses on the first time, I got asked “how did he propose” while the sales assistant buttoned me up into a white gown- she didn’t seem nearly so interested in finding out how I asked her to marry me.

I knew planning a wedding with almost no budget and on my side of the family, no support was going to be hard, but I don’t think I accounted for the weirdness of planning a wedding while gay or for my wedding to be a political issue. I just wanted to wear a white dress and marry her in front of our friends.

Fuck Sweating For The Wedding

In March of 2016, I proposed to my girlfriend, Courtney in the middle of Disney World. She cried and said yes and we called our families and a facebook video my friend shot got a ridiculous amount of notes. I was a size fourteen.

This was the same size I wore when we started dating. This is the same size I wear months later. I’m betting it’s the same size that I’m going to wear on our wedding day. Somehow, this is an issue for some people. I browse tumblr and other blogs and keep finding people suggesting bridal diets or ‘sweating for the wedding’ workout routines- because apparently it’s a given that all women getting married are going to try to lose weight before their wedding day- because no matter what, you should always want to be skinnier!

You’re supposed to pick a dress that’s flattering (IE: make you look skinny). You’re supposed to eat nothing and work out so you’re at your skinniest- after all, there’s never going to be a day where people take more pictures of you! You can’t have grandchildren looking through the wedding album and see that Grandma was… a size fourteen. She’s gotta at least make an effort to be a size six or something.

And it keeps popping up in my personal life- I see engaged friends hashtagging selfies with #bridediet and for a minute I wonder if I’m wrong for thinking that my girlfriend wants to marry me how I always am. I send a beloved relative pictures of myself in a tried-on wedding gown and am advised to lose weight because my arms are fat. I get pulled aside in the work cafeteria by a coworker that I barely know and get shamed for buying a slice of apple pie, because aren’t I getting married soon?

I don’t really consider it a radical act to be fat and getting married, but if everyone else is going to act like it’s a big deal, I guess I’m totally radical.

Can’t wait to go on a wedding cake tasting.